Banished Love Read online

  “I am sorry to hear that you know of my, ah…”

  “Your lack of grace?” the man asked with a friendly smile. “You are quite famous at my smithy, thanks to Colin’s frequent visits. His tales of your latest misadventures are some of our favorites. I just never imagined you’d end up harming Gabe.”

  I blushed at Colin’s lack of discretion.

  The man reached out his hand to shake mine, saying, “My name is Richard, and I am the middle McLeod brother.”

  I detected a note of pride in his voice at the name McLeod. He and Gabriel shared the same height, blue eyes and black hair; though if I were honest, I would say that Richard was the more handsome of the two.

  I nodded an acknowledgment, belatedly taking his hand. I waited for Lucas to provide the formal introductions for me, as was proper. Lucas, however, remained stubbornly mute, engaging in a silent staring match with the elder brother. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, I spoke up.

  “My name is Clarissa Sullivan,” I said to the two McLeod brothers, “of the unfortunate mishaps.” The last was said with a small, regretful smile. I brushed at a wisp of hair that had come loose and tucked it behind my ear. I continued to glance around the room, looking at everything but Gabriel McLeod or his brother.

  “Nice to meet you,” Richard responded, smiling, flashing a dimple in his left cheek, seemingly entertained by our visit. “I know your brother well,” he said. He continued to smile, watching me with a similarly intense gaze as his brother.

  I studied him. Tattered suspenders held up a pair of faded black trousers, the worn dark blue shirt’s sleeves rolled up to his elbows. No amount of polishing would make his shoes black. He wore no tie, vest or collar, and his shirt was slightly open at the neckline, revealing a small tuft of black hair. He appeared more casually dressed than any man I had ever seen. I tried not to stare at him, but his beauty and evident charm intrigued me.

  “Nice to formally meet you,” Gabriel said, interrupting my perusal of his brother. At that, I glanced over and met Gabriel’s eyes again. There remained a trace of humor in them, but, more than anything, I saw pain. He appeared to be doing his best to conceal the discomfort, but it was evident.

  I gentled my voice and addressed him. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  He closed his eyes, preventing me from being further entranced by his piercing blue eyes.

  Richard spoke up for his brother. “He hates to admit it, Miss Sullivan, but he is in considerable discomfort.” Worry furrowed his brow. “I had thought he would be recovered by now, but he can still barely stand up without help, and he has terrible dizzy spells.”

  Gabriel spoke, interrupting Richard in a gruff voice. “Don’t exaggerate so, Rich. I’m fine. Just a little ache. Nothing time won’t heal. I’ll be back to work soon.”

  I looked from one to the other, unsure who to believe. I turned toward Lucas, but he remained determinedly silent. “Let me look at your head,” I entreated, then moved toward him, but he scooted his chair away.

  “Again begging your pardon, miss, I would rather you didn’t,” he said, eyeing me warily. I noted sweat on his brow, the clenching of his jaw. I reached out as though to feel his brow for fever but stopped myself in time, realizing it would not be proper. I stood stooped over him, studying him.

  “You are truly unwell,” I whispered. “Lucas, we must find a doctor,” I commanded, turning to look at Lucas, who rolled his eyes at me in apparent exasperation.

  “Oh, that won’t be necessary,” Richard blurted out, flushing.

  “I thank you for your concern, miss,” Gabriel gasped out, his gaze momentarily unfocused. “You have done your duty by ensuring I survived my…misadventure with you. I am sure you have much more important matters to fill your time.”

  I frowned at him, uncertain why he would refuse a doctor’s help.

  “Mr. McLeod,” I entreated once more, reaching out and gripping his hand. “I really believe you need to see the doctor.” I saw shock flit through his eyes as I took his hand. “Please let me call for one for you?”

  “No, miss, I’m sure I’ll be just fine,” he replied. “You’ve done your duty here. You can forget this last accident ever occurred.”

  “But, if you are in pain…” I continued, noting the exchange of uncomfortable looks between Richard and Gabriel.

  “I don’t want your charity, miss,” Gabriel muttered.

  I jerked, taken aback. I watched Richard kick Gabriel in the leg, and heard Gabriel grunt softly. I stood, moving toward Lucas. He glanced at me sharply and leaned over, hissing in my ear, “Doctors cost money, Rissa. And I doubt they could afford one.”

  “Well, then we should pay, as it was my fault,” I whispered back, glaring at Lucas and his blatant snobbery, wishing I could kick him in the shin as Richard had just kicked Gabriel.

  After a long pause and a deep breath, Lucas spoke up and said, “Yes, Rissa, let’s fetch the doctor and send him on his way here. When you are feeling better, Mr. McLeod, I hope you will return to the store to visit with my father.” At this, he nodded, nearly imperceptibly, first to Gabriel, then to Richard. He gripped my elbow, turning me in the direction of the door. I resisted for a moment, wanting to say a farewell to Gabriel.

  “I do hope you will recover soon, Mr. McLeod,” I stated, noting the inadequacy of my words as I allowed Lucas to usher me out of the room.

  “Miss Sullivan?” Gabriel’s baritone voice gently called out as I turned to leave. I glanced back at him to see his pensive, troubled eyes. “I thank you for your concern.”

  I nodded, unable to think of anything adequate to say. Richard led us down the hallway, thanking me for the visit while subtly ignoring Lucas.

  As we walked along the small alleyway, I gripped Lucas’s arm painfully. “Why were you such a boor?” I demanded.

  “Rissa,” he said, exasperation tingeing his tone. “Are you seriously concerned about me offending two poor laborers who live here?” He stared at me incredulously as he waved around the poorly lit area, stopping to stare at me. “You can’t actually tell me you care one whit about them?”

  “They’re Colin’s friends,” I insisted.

  “Yes, and Colin has some regrettable associations,” Lucas said. “Clarissa, are you so naive?” He gripped my arms lightly, as though he wanted to shake sense into me. “The elder brother looked at you with such…” Lucas broke off, muttering under his breath.

  “With such what, Lucas?” I demanded.

  “Insolence,” he nearly roared. “How dare he look at you like that?”

  “Like what? Like he found me attractive?” I said, louder than I had meant and heard a faint catcall in response. I noted we had a small audience, and, though I wasn’t sure they could understand all we were saying, I felt uncomfortable. “Lucas, we shouldn’t be arguing in the street.” I gripped his arm, trying to propel him into motion.

  “So now you worry about propriety?” Lucas ground out, remaining stock-still. “Rissa, what’s come over you?” he asked, finally allowing me to drag him toward the main street and home.

  “I don’t like it when you sound like Jonas Montgomery, that insufferable fiancé of Savannah’s, all pompous and stuffy, as though you are better than other people,” I said. “I don’t like it when you stand sullenly by, glaring at an injured man, then insult him in his own home by pointing out his poverty!” I hissed. “Don’t you think he knows he is poor?”

  “As long as you understand it, Clarissa,” Lucas whispered. “Don’t get any ideas about the McLeods. They’re not good enough for you.”

  I shook my head futilely. “Lucas, you misunderstand. I have no ideas, romantic or otherwise, about the McLeods,” I said. “I just want to see him well, to move on with my life.”

  “Rissa…” He let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry if I acted improperly, in your opinion. I didn’t like either of them. One too friendly and sure of himself, the other too…” Again he wouldn’t finish his sentence. “Rissa, jus
t don’t plan to be around them much. It’s not a good idea.”

  “I doubt either would want to see me,” I muttered as a wave of self-pitying thoughts washed over me.

  CHAPTER 4

  “UNCLE,” I CALLED OUT as I entered the store, only to find myself nearly deafened by a high-pitched squeal. I almost toppled over as Savannah threw herself into my arms.

  “Where have you been? I’ve been here for ages, and I even had to wait on a few customers,” she said, widening her sky-blue eyes in mock horror. Her wispy strawberry-blond hair was fashioned in a loose chignon with tendrils framing her heart-shaped face. “Come, tell me of the past few weeks!” Savannah said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs.

  We passed through the darkened hallway, careening into a side table. A vase of flowers almost tipped over, but Savannah reached out to right it before it toppled to the floor. We continued through the hallway to the stairs, passing hung scenes of New England and small cross-stitched pieces that Aunt Matilda and Savannah had created. Bright sunlight streamed in through the windows as we entered the Russell family sitting room, where tea had been prepared for us.

  “Does Aunt Matilda ever see you like this?” I asked on a laugh as I sank onto an overstuffed, uncomfortable settee.

  “Rarely. She would frown and remind me of the need for propriety at all times,” she said as she mimicked her mother before she burst out laughing.

  “Then why am I to model my behavior on yours?” I asked.

  “Because I can act the part. I know their rules are ridiculous, and so do you. But you have to play along if you want to join their group,” she said, resting against the cushions.

  “So you say,” I said thinking of Jonas Montgomery, her fiancé.

  “Don’t you want to marry, have children? That was always our favorite topic as children.” We shared a long look as we both reminisced. “We’d have little girls, months apart, and they’d grow up close, like sisters.”

  “Like us,” I said.

  “Yes, like us,” she said with a wistful sigh.

  “I may have a sister in a few months’ time,” I murmured.

  “You mean she’s…expecting?” Savannah sputtered, then bent forward to pour us some tea.

  “Yes, a ‘blessed event.’ That’s what Mrs. Smythe calls it.” I shook my head as I imagined having another sibling.

  “What bothers you, Rissa?”

  “The idea that I may be looked upon to care for the child if I am still at home.”

  “Yes, the spinsterly older sister,” Savannah said with a theatrical sigh.

  I glared at her, fighting resentment at the reference to spinsterhood.

  “I imagine your stepmother would consider it your duty.”

  “I’m not that old. And, yes, she most assuredly would.”

  “Old enough. And if we are to have daughters who are more or less the same age, you need to find an acceptable man.”

  “Well, seeing as I haven’t met an eligible man in years, that may prove a challenge,” I said with a frown.

  “Mr. Montgomery and I might need to move to New York City after the wedding,” Savannah said, some of her vivaciousness dimming as she spoke of her fiancé.

  “What? You are to stay here. Or is this part of the bargain for him to marry—”

  “There is no bargain,” Savannah snapped. “You know I want to marry him, and he wants to marry me. I want to be a part of his important world. I’m simply fortunate the family approves.”

  I stared at her, for once at a loss for words as I thought about Jonas, who exuded power and self-confidence. Whereas he thought he appeared upper class and debonair, I found him stuffy and pompous. Colin would argue that those words were synonymous for the truly rich. In any case, I believed Jonas’s personal convictions were dangerous misconceptions to have about oneself and feared for Savannah’s future happiness.

  Jonas stood at about my height with brown hair and topaz eyes that appeared deceptively dull. However, they hid a rapier sharp mind, waiting to detect the smallest weakness in an opponent to expose him or her to public ridicule. I sensed that his greatest joy came in detecting when someone was not thoroughly engaged in a debate, or did not know all of their facts, and having them look a fool in front of a crowd. He lived to debate and prove his prowess with the spoken word, preening as he showed his superior verbal skills. He believed it showed a nobility of mind to expose the weaknesses of others. I disagreed. I believed it showed a poverty of spirit to relish the humiliation of others only for personal pleasure.

  “I think you will find that Jonas is very caring when you know him better,” Savannah said as she broke into my thoughts.

  “Does he know of our interest in the suffragettes?” I asked.

  Savannah choked on her sip of tea before gasping out a response. “Never mention any interest that I might have had. I am recovered from such foolish notions.”

  “Such as wanting to have the same rights as men or to be able to vote? To have some say on our own lives when we marry?”

  “Hush, Rissa, you speak nonsense. Women can and should want for no more than what we already have. Men have been good to us.”

  “What has happened to you?” I asked, truly alarmed.

  “I know what I need to do to marry. You should learn the same,” she said with a pointed glance. After an awkward moment she said, “Do you want to hear Aunt Betsy’s ideas for the wedding?”

  I picked up my teacup, staring into it instead of answering.

  “Hmm…” she said at my long pause. “I can see my time away did not make you any more eager to hear about my plans.” She tucked her feet up under her burgundy satin skirt, sitting comfortably, with her hands folded in front of her.

  “I’d rather tell you about my adventures of the past few days.”

  “Adventures? Plural? Oh, Rissa, after all Mother has done to help.” Savannah watched me with fond despair.

  I shrugged as there was nothing to say. “I stumbled into the store a few days ago and knocked a man off his ladder. He crashed to the floor, hurting his head. I couldn’t believe a head wound would bleed so much, Savannah. How could I have been so clumsy again?” I sighed as I remembered that day. “We had the doctor here, and the injured man was sent home to recover. I visited him today with Lucas because Uncle Martin told me that he wasn’t improving. I thought it better to visit rather than send a note.” The tension that had bloomed between us with the mention of Jonas slowly dissipated.

  “What was his home like?”

  “Well, he lives in the North End…”At Savannah’s knowing nod I realized I did not need to explain further. “He has a shelf full of books.”

  “Are you saying all you noticed was his books?”

  “No, of course not. Mr. McLeod—”

  “Are you telling me that your adventure was with Mr. McLeod? The tall, black-haired, broad-shouldered carpenter?”

  “Yes, of the brooding stares.”

  “Oh, my. I’ve seen him,” Savannah said with feigned breathlessness, grinning and unable to hide her delight. “I can’t say I’ve met him, but I’ve definitely seen him.” She sighed melodramatically, causing me to laugh again.

  I sighed too, thinking about his blue eyes. “He is somewhat handsome, isn’t he?”

  “Somewhat? Somewhat? Do you need to have Dr. Mitchelson examine your eyes?” Savannah asked.

  “If you can believe it, the brother’s even more attractive,” I said, leaning in as though imparting a great secret. Savannah’s eyes widened in glee, and she smiled broadly.

  “Oh, this is delicious. A fun story when I’ve just arrived home. You know how I love Aunt Betsy, but it can be so tiring being with her. It’s as though there’re always hidden meanings in everything she says. I don’t have your wit or patience to puzzle them all out.” Savannah pouted, closing her eyes briefly before opening them to meet mine. “So, tell me more about today’s visit.”

  “Oh, Sav, that too was a disaster! I think Mr. McL
eod, the injured one, thought I was there just for charitable works, a sense of duty.” At this Savannah cocked her head toward me with eyebrows raised. I huffed slightly. “All right, he was right. I admit, I was there out of a sense of duty, yet I truly wanted to know how he was. Though on reflection I think a card might have sufficed.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on.

  “Rissa, you must know I am teasing you. I am sorry you are so upset,” Savannah said. “Tell me all of it, all that happened.”

  “When we arrived, his brother let us in. We moved to the back room, a surprisingly sunny room in the midst of a dark alley. Gabriel—Mr. McLeod—seemed upset I was there, didn’t want me near him. I think he was afraid I would cause him harm again. I fear he thought me a snob.” I grimaced as I thought through my visit to Gabriel’s. “Lucas was obnoxious and stuffy, acting all superior, and I felt like a mute who could barely speak coherently. Then, when I realized Mr. McLeod should see a doctor, Lucas pointed out they were too poor to afford one. I was mortified to have money brought up, and then disgusted with Lucas for being so rude and pompous. Thankfully Lucas finally agreed to pay for one.”

  “Rissa, you know how Lucas can be.” Savannah looked at me knowingly and rolled her eyes. “You have just always chosen to see the better parts of him and ignore his worst aspects. He can be awful to others, especially if he feels uncomfortable. And he would feel uncomfortable around two tall, gorgeous McLeod brothers.”

  I blushed and looked away, finally betraying my personal reaction to Savannah.

  Savannah squealed with laughter. “Oh, I knew there was more to this story! Which one did you like? Was it the injured Gabriel? Or the friendly, more handsome brother?”

  She sat up excitedly, and I almost expected her to begin to bounce up and down on the settee with her enthusiasm.

  “Sav, calm down!” I glanced worriedly toward the door, but Savannah waved her hand at the door in dismissal.